Understanding Covert Harm in the Workplace

"And I would have gotten away with it—if it weren't for those meddling kids." - Some Masked Scooby-Doo Villain

I often picture manipulators and fakers muttering this famous line when I hold them accountable for their actions. Yep, I’m the "meddling kid," and I embrace that role.

Manipulators and abusers thrive on our ignorance. They rely on us not seeing their true selves to continue their harmful behaviors in the shadows. Covert harm in the workplace often follows a playbook of psychological tactics and behavioral patterns. These tactics can repeat or manifest in various contexts.

The more familiar you become with these patterns, the easier they are to spot. This knowledge reduces the likelihood of falling victim to them or witnessing others suffer in silence. One effective way to be an ally is to educate ourselves about the tactics abusers use to inflict harm while dodging accountability.

Typically, abusers lean on plausible deniability. They cause harm in ways that can be interpreted differently, depending on who is watching. They often avoid admitting their actions were intentional. Another common tactic is triangulation, which I discuss in detail in this article.

Recognizing Harm Done to You

Love Bombing

Love bombing is a tactic that new hires may encounter, especially if they have strong experience, education, or fit certain societal standards. From day one, someone might target you but wants to keep their intentions hidden. They mask their envy with excessive praise and adoration that feels slightly off. Look for these signs:

• Initial friendliness that turns into sudden coldness or criticism.

• A sense of instability, leaving you unsure of your standing within the organization.

• Passive-aggressive behavior, such as being friendly in private but critical in public. If you ask what's wrong, they will deny any issues while acting out when you trigger their envy.

  
  

Undermining

Undermining behaviors often accompany love bombing. While they publicly praise you, they secretly work against you. Watch for:

• Agreement in private but criticism in group settings.

• Vague or contradictory directions that leave you confused.

• Ignoring your successes while highlighting your failures.

• Being the last to know important information.

  
  

Exclusion

Exclusion is another tactic that can be deeply damaging. This behavior often aims to bait you into seeking validation or begging for inclusion. You might notice:

• Being left out of meetings, group emails, or key conversations.

• Not receiving invitations to social events or team-building activities.

• Physical isolation or exclusion from remote collaboration.

  
  

Gossip

Gossip can be a vicious tool used to manipulate perceptions and discredit you. It often starts during the love bombing phase, causing damage before you even realize what's happening. Signs include:

• Malicious gossip and smear campaigns aimed at tarnishing your reputation.

• Rumors about your competence, attitude, or personal life.

• A sudden disengagement from colleagues who were once friendly.

• A decline in trust and support from others, leaving you confused about the reasons.

  
  

The Bystander's Perspective

In the next article, we will discuss how this situation looks from a bystander's perspective. Understanding this viewpoint is crucial for minimizing or eradicating incivility and bullying at work. After all, if smear campaigns fail, the bully's plan collapses, right?

Your Observations Matter

What other signs of covert harm have you noticed? How have you managed to stay calm and productive in these challenging environments? Sharing your experiences can help others navigate similar situations.

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Nicole is an organizational consultant and personal coach, passionate about inspiring the changes our society needs for everyone to thrive. Using lessons learned from her own experiences and challenges, she aims to help people within organizations create mentally, socially, and emotionally healthy workplaces for all.

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