Why Leaders Hesitate to Act Against Toxicity
- Nicole White
- Jul 18
- 5 min read
You and a few of your colleagues notice it. The backbiting. The underhandedness. The unethical decisions. The politics and social dramatics causing all sorts of delays and chaos within your company.
Projects are often late or done haphazardly. Jane in one department doesn't want to talk with Bob in another, so work takes longer to move from one place to another. Your boss is nice-nasty, smiling in your face while sabotaging you behind the scenes. You start to wonder if you've lost your last marble.
You determine your marble is still intact- so now you start to question those around you, particularly your management. Do they see what's happening to me? The team? The organization? Why does no one seem to care?
Why Leaders Stay Silent
They are often toxic themselves: Toxic cultures only thrive under toxic leadership. So, expecting leaders who benefit (or have benefited) from toxic behavior to want to change it is somewhat naive.
Does that mean that every leader within a toxic environment is inherently toxic themselves? No. But it does mean that they are willing to tolerate and accept these behaviors from others, which makes them complicit. Why might a leader who isn't toxic themselves avoid speaking out?
They've been punished in the past for speaking up: Many people fold at the first threat to their status or feeling of security. So, they may notice bad behavior, but will remain silent, make excuses, or put the blame back onto victims to avoid accountability- and avoid being targeted themselves.
They've been conditioned to believe that managing conflict isn't a leader's job: They believe they are doing the right thing by ignoring or rationalizing the behavior. Some people are taught to believe whistleblowers and others who speak out are just being dramatic and causing trouble. So, to align themselves with the image of a 'good' leader and avoid being labeled themselves, they'll avoid addressing toxicity altogether. For many, the workplace is primarily social (and not focused on the purpose of the organization)- so they will prioritize their sense of belonging and status over their responsibility to create and maintain a healthy environment, which in toxic workplaces are at odds with one another.
They've been rewarded for being toxic: Rewards, conditioning and the human psyche are an interesting combination. Many people base their behavior and sense of morality on the system of reward and punishment, not on if an action is actually "good" versus "bad". For example, think of the leader who consistently does unethical things to get ahead, or the leader who routinely stifles the progress of employees they feel are more capable than they are. When they are rewarded for mistreating others, upholding systems of marginalization and oppression, manipulating situations in their favor, and taking advantage of others, they begin to see those actions as "good" or as "necessary".
The impacts of their behavior are not considered (see my article on the Machiavellian mentality) and the end result, their reward, justifies the actions taken to achieve that reward. Trying to appeal to the empathy in people conditioned in this way is a waste of time. The only thing that will break the cycle is accountability and consequences (a rewiring of the reward system).
They were raised in toxic households and carry over learned behaviors into the workplace: This is true of most toxic people, leader or not. If someone grew up under toxic conditions (unable to speak up, suffering physical, emotional and mental abuse, having a narcissistic parent, etc.) they will believe those conditions are normal, and will knowingly or unknowingly reinforce those behaviors at work. They will expect their subordinates to keep quiet and to avoid conflict. They will punish anyone who "steps out of line" and will marginalize those without power (as they were within their household). When they come across someone who is emotionally healthy, bold and unafraid to speak up, they may become triggered, which is why emotionally healthy and bold people often become targets of workplace abuse. Toxic people are projecting and enforcing their inner condition onto others and suffering severe cognitive dissonance when they are unable to do so.
Human behavior is so layered and nuanced- it's really difficult to apply one set of solutions to every circumstance. We all carry different experiences, backgrounds and traumas that may inform how we behave and interact with our environments. However, the list above is a good baseline to start with as most leaders who avoid dealing with toxicity will fall into one or more of the categories. If you're dealing with a toxic leader, think about where they may fit. Leaders whose inaction is based in fear may be educated and supported into more healthy behaviors down the road. Someone caught in the reward loop? Eh, it may not be worth your efforts.
What Does This Mean for You?
If you are a leader, I challenge you to self-reflect and identify if you show up in this list. How do you think your behavior impacts others? Impacts you? The organization? Toxicity costs organizations billions yearly- when you think your strategy is effective, it often is simply a faster means to your reward, and actually negatively impacting other areas of your business. More on that in the next article.
If you participate in toxic behaviors for your benefit, I challenge you (leader or not) to consider the impact of your decisions. Would it be okay if someone else mistreated you for their benefit? Do you align with the mentality that you abuse in order to not be abused yourself? If so, do you realize being trapped in that mentality is actually self-abuse? (More on that in a later article).
If you are an employee working for a toxic leader or within a toxic environment, this information can help you depersonalize toxic behavior. It really never is about you, but rather how you may trigger unresolved issues in others. The good news for you is that these are not your problems to fix- and your focus should be on maintaining your own social, mental and emotional health at work.
Trying to change others or resorting to the same manipulation tactics they use is not the answer- and will leave you drained and also toxic. Focus on maintaining clear, direct communication, transparency and accountability- all weapons against the chronically toxic workplace.
Nicole is an organizational consultant and personal coach, who is passionate about inspiring the changes our society needs for all to thrive. Using lessons learned from her own experiences and challenges, she hopes to help people within organizations by creating mentally, socially, and emotionally healthy workplaces for all.
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