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Why Psychological Violence Persists in the Workplace

psychological violence at work

Over the years, I've found myself asking "Why do we (as change agents/HR/OD/Learning) professionals always have to frame our work in terms of monetary value or reduction of risk for organizational leaders? Do they not want/care about the well-being of the people in their organization?"


No, they don't. Typically.


Have you ever asked yourself a similar question? Whenever it comes to human rights and well-being, we have to gain support for efforts to improve these things by only focusing on the benefit for leaders or organizations. Also, when workplace incivility and abuse is mentioned, most people write it off as simple schoolyard bullying, or as "being dramatic" by bringing up what you experience or see happening to others, or somehow feel it's right to demonizing targets (displacing the blame).


This persistent gaslighting, this altering of reality is psychological violence, and it is more prevalent in workplaces than most people care to admit. Why is psychological violence so prevalent in workplaces (and I'd argue in families, romantic relationships and friendships as well...)?



Why?

Well, first let's look at some harsh truths about how some people see the world and people in it:

  • It's become normalized to view others instrumentally, as a means to get what they want (social status, emotional regulation, sense of safety, etc.).

  • Workplaces especially tend to view employees as simply a means to an end, not as autonomous human beings with needs, thoughts, and feelings (the expectation is that these align to the organization's mindset).

  • Psychological abuse isn't always "seen" by others, making it the "perfect" way to manipulate others to get what you want with little to no consequences.

  • Being manipulative has been rebranded as being savvy (reward), which encourages more people to be manipulative.

  • There are many, many unhealed, insecure, and envious people in the world who work hard to outsource their emotional management to those they target and abuse.


The normalization of behaviors designed to harm others through making these behaviors seem necessary - and rewarding people for operating in this mindset- gets to the heart of the why and how these behaviors go unchecked in the average workplace. In fact, speaking out against such behaviors goes against the social rules of the undercover workplace, which we'll discuss next.


The Undercover Workplace

The undercover workplace describes the actual activities, experiences, processes, and social quality of the workplace- as opposed to the outwardly supported and expressed workplace. In other words, it represents the unseen and unspoken beliefs, rules, and behaviors that drive behaviors in the workplace environment.


Much like how our subconscious is described as driving the majority of our behavior, the undercover workplace functions much like the subconsciousness of an organization- driving employee experience, leadership decisions, customer experience and everything in between.


All organizations, to some degree operate under the rules of the undercover workplace, because the rules of the undercover workplace are the same rules operating covertly in larger society. The same systems of oppression, narcissism, and psychological abuse that exist throughout society exist within our institutions- all fueled by fear, control, ignorance, and insecurity. The informal social systems we uphold (knowingly or not) contain mechanisms that allow manipulation and abuse associated with oppression, narcissism, etc. not only to exist, but to be normalized or even rewarded in some cases.


We've been very much conditioned into except everyday psychological abuse as normal- most people don't even realize they are victims (or don't see themselves as victims if they are rewarded for conforming/compliance). These very predictable strategies for controlling and conditioning human behavior are the foundation of social Machiavellianism- the root cause of psychological violence in groups.


Social Machiavellianism


Social Machiavellianism is a strategic (in the manipulative sense) worldview that prioritizes control, advantage, and social positioning. It’s about the systematic use of manipulation through relationships, perception, and group emotion. Instead of using brute authority or overt means of obtaining power and control, the Machiavellian worldview opts for covert means of controlling others via perception of power and emotionally manipulating others for their own self-protection and interests.


It is not about a simple "bullying" or poor interactions between a few people- it’s about a system of perception and manipulation that distorts reality as flawed, and positions its worldview as correct, safe, normal and necessary. It requires everyone to abandon truth and reality in favor of whatever keeps the abuser/social Machiavellian personality "safe".



The main reason behind why many of my posts and articles emphasize that awareness is key is because the scripts and manipulation of social Machiavellianism, and the psychological violence that is inherent in this mindset, can only operate when people are unable to name or understand what is happening to them. The confusion and distortion of language and behavior is what causes the most psychological damage-and what most people are never able to figure out (or if they do, they are gaslit by other conditioned people around them to abandon their insight and go along with the crowd).


Psychological violence is so hard to spot because things are done in such a way that allows multiple interpretations of the same behavior, and conditioning often forces us to assume the best or forces us to view things as "just the way they are" or "just the way things need to be." This is what keeps us stuck, and what keeps the machine of workplace psychological violence in place.


If you're interested in learning more about social Machiavellianism and how we can counteract its effects in the workplace, you can RSVP to attend the upcoming webinar "The Hidden Game: How to Recognize & Disarm Social Machiavellianism at Work" here.


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