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Abuse as an Auto-Response in Organizations


In the last article, I wrote briefly about the abuse many of us have experienced in organizations (and by extension social systems in general) and how this abuse is the result of a predictable systemic response to certain triggers. Today's article is going to break this systemic response down further.


Abuse as an Auto-Response

When I refer to an auto-response of abuse within organizations, I'm referring to the very predictable reaction of people in the organization when they begin to feel a loss of control, status or feel that their "power" is being threatened. The sense of power and control organizations curate is very fragile, although they would have you believe they are all-powerful and should be feared.

You might be asking, "So, what's the point? Why would an organization design this systemic response to perceived threats?" Let's explore the "why":


  • The goal: to contain and constrain the influence and ability of the threat

  • Many organizations are still operating from old, military-like mindsets, so they operate with a mindset that says "annihilate threats" versus using human-centered methods of addressing conflict and/or competition

  • When people align to these systems of behavior, most do so thinking they are being protective


What Makes This System Activate Automatically?


  • When triggered, no reflection happens- behaviors are automatically activated in response to the trigger (target), for most people as a protective mechanism (and for the most toxic of characters as intentional manipulation tactics).

  • Because these behaviors are socially reinforced, people don't see their actions as "bad" or abusive. They feel "it's the right thing to do" or they may even feel like they're helping you "get in line" -knowing that more abuse will follow if you don't. Since they were scared into submission, they feel you should be too- and when you're not, this escalates the threat response.

  • The tactics used are usually the same tactics that were used on them to get them in line.

  • The masterminds" of toxic workplace control systems aren't usually directly involved in workplace abuse- they abuse via proxy using the people closest to you and your work. The goal is to exploit your need for group belonging by using the group to pressure you into changing your behavior to comply and accept and absorb dysfunction, toxicity, and chaos.


What are some of the triggers that would initiate this auto- response?


  • Autonomy in thinking and behaving: If you're someone who doesn't simply follow the crowd or outsource your reasoning and thinking to people around you, you will be viewed as a threat.

  • You're not seeking validation or approval from the group: This is their main control mechanism, so when you don't respond or react to their attempts to control or isolate you, they experience this as both rejection and a loss of control, fueling the response

  • When you show up competent (instead of simply performing competence) they become triggered. They feel that their status and position are now vulnerable, and that your competence may expose them.

  • If you don't absorb their dysfunction or chaos, they are triggered because you choose not to make the same decisions they have. They tend to hold a "if I have to, so should you" attitude. This is how otherwise neutral people can grow resentful of you and more likely to believe false narratives about you later.


Basically, you don't function as they do, which triggers a threat to their reality (why doesn't this person think and feel like me? I must not be able to trust them...). And when the system is triggered, the predictable patterns of behaviors that you're probably already familiar with:


  • exclusion

  • smear campaigns

  • labeling you (as difficult, too much, too sensitive, not a team player, etc.)

  • "jokes" designed to minimize your presence/impact or destroy your credibility

  • behaviors designed to destabilize you (shifting expectations, vague direction, unclear standards)

  • the "uno-reverse"- framing your positive behaviors as negative (boundary setting, clarity, competence, etc.)

  • manufactured confusion and ambiguity

  • intentionally pushing your boundaries, setting you up tp fail, engineering situations to try to embarrass you, etc.)

  • avoidance (refusing to acknowledge toxic behaviors)

  • marginalization

  • passive-aggressive behaviors and communication

  • role stripping

  • being pushed out


Here's the full play:


  • You're hired on and love bombed. The organization must perform "goodness", hoping it makes you trust them fast, and fully.

  • During this phase, they are monitoring you- your behaviors, your work, who you connect with. And, this is logical (on the surface) since you're new- but they are not simply monitoring for performance reasons- they are looking for alignment to the undercover workplace.

  • If you "check all of the boxes" as safe, you will be accepted into the herd, so-to-speak. Sure, there may be general challenges, but you will not be mobbed or targeted.

  • If you trigger the system (by showing up in any of the ways I mentioned above) you will be targeted until you a) catch the hints and modify your behavior to match status quo or b) you are pushed out.


This can all feel daunting but remember- healthy people and organizations do not operate this way, and do not easily fall for the lies and hype. And for those that do- they are in reaction mode to a system they may not fully understand or even know that they are responding to. In the next article, I’m going to dissect the concept of social regulation, and how these behaviors tie into it.


Now, the Hard Part: Accountability

Being experienced or highly skilled is not actually what you're measured by in most organizations. Your main role is to pass their safety and loyalty tests first- this is how you become "trusted" and supported in the toxic workplace. And this is how people who lack skill can easily climb the ladder of success- by displaying loyalty and conforming to the dysfunction and toxicity- and never questioning it. In a post I shared last week, I mentioned that the vast majority of people in positions of influence or leadership have had to compromise themselves in some way to obtain and maintain their roles.


As hard as that may be to hear, it is the truth. This isn't about judging you or anyone else as good or bad- it's naming the system as it exists. The system rewards those that uphold it- and if you operate within a dysfunctional system (and we all do to an extent, as our society is dysfunctional- a different article for another day...) then there have been times you've turned the other cheek, made a decision you knew would harm someone else, or perhaps covered up or smoothed over leadership blunders in the name of "keeping the peace"- all of which support organizational dysfunction, and create the perfect cover for abuse to continue.

Reflection Questions:


  • How do I contribute (intentionally or not) to workplace dysfunction and toxic workplace dynamics?

  • Would I know if someone around me was being mobbed or bullied? Would I do anything? If so, what?

  • What is in my control to positively influence in toxic environments?

Help The Workplace Unfiltered reach more people! If you found this article useful, please comment, like and share/repost. If you are interested in workplace wellness coaching and would like to learn more, you can:



 
 
 

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